ace
Junior Member
wen ur nluv, its as if everything seems ryt.. u deny any possibility of error..
Posts: 61
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Post by ace on Dec 31, 2006 18:00:40 GMT 8
Job interview...
Boss: Ano ang alam mo? Applicant: Alam ko po kung saan kayo nakatira ng misis mo, at kung saan nakatira ang kabit mo. Boss: Tanggap ka na! Hinayupak ka!
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ace
Junior Member
wen ur nluv, its as if everything seems ryt.. u deny any possibility of error..
Posts: 61
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Post by ace on Dec 31, 2006 18:03:31 GMT 8
Misis: Di ko na kaya ito! Araw-araw tayo nag-aaway! Mabuti pa, umalis na ko sa bahay na ito! Mister: Ako rin! Sawang-sawa na! Mabuti pa, sumama na ako sa iyo!
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ace
Junior Member
wen ur nluv, its as if everything seems ryt.. u deny any possibility of error..
Posts: 61
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Post by ace on Dec 31, 2006 18:05:50 GMT 8
Dig this..
Husband: wen i beat you, you never get angry. how dyu control your anger? wife: i clean the toilet bowl. husband: how does that satisfy you? wife: i use your TOOTHBRUSH! ahahahaha!
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kimi09
Full Member
idiot_named_kimi09@yahoo.com
Posts: 203
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Post by kimi09 on Jan 3, 2007 11:38:35 GMT 8
Dear Itay, padalhan mo ako ng Pera kasi ang mga damit ko pinagkakain ng mga DAGA. Dear Anak, wala akong pera. Kung gus2 mo, meron d2 Pusa ============================================== >Isang babae bumili ng asukal. Inabot ng tindera, pero sabi ng babae,
>"Miss, Asin itong binigay mo sa akin." Hndi, Asukal yan. Minarkahan lang nming "ASIN" pra hnde langgamin *************************************************************
>Ngongo Dictionary:
>CATTLE _ dun nkatira ang printeta at printipe >MELT _ yun ang sinusuot sa mewang >EFFORT - dun nag la-land ang efflane >STATUE _ ikaw ba yan
================================================
ANAK: 'Tay, anong pagkakaiba ng Supper at Dinner? ITAY: 'Anak, pag kumain tayo sa labas, Dinner 'yun. pag d2 tau kakain ng luto ng Mmmy mo, Suffer yon!!
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Maganda daw mapangasawa CANADIAN, ksi pwede mong sabihin: MAGLABA
CANADIAN! magsaing CANADIAN! Hubad CANADIAN! Tuwad CANADIAN Ano, okay CANADIAN
================================================
MRS: Lolokohin ko MISTER ko. magpapanggap akong pick-up girl ako
Pagkita kay MISTER: Hi Pogi! AVAILABLE ako ngayon.....
MR: Ayoko sa yo!!! Kamukha mo misis ko! !
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MR: Doc, duwag ako magpabunot ng ngipin.
DR: No problem, eto whiskey, uminom ka! (Mister, uminom ng Whiskey)
DR: O, matapang ka na ba? Mr: OO DOC, pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko gugulpihin ko!
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Man: Doc, Help me uminom ako ng baygon
Doc: bakit, magsusuicide ka?
Man: Hndi. Nkalunok kasi ako ng buhay na ipis.
Doc: Tanga! Dapat kumain ka na lang ng tsinelas
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Wife: Pag may problema ko, kahit gaano kabigat, nawawala kapag nakikita ko ang picture mo.
Husband: Sabi ko na nga ba talagang mahal na mahal mo ko.
Wife: Tinitingnan ko lang ang Picture mo tapos sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na WALA NG PROBLEMA NA MAS HIHIGIT PA DITO
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Anak: "Nay, puede na ba akong magbra? Nay, Kinse na po ako, puede na ba?
Ina: Hoy! Joselito! Tigilan mo na nga ako! ! ! ! !
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LASING: (takot) may multo sa banyo natin! WIFE: ha? Bakit? LASING: kasi bumubukas yung ilaw pag papasok ako ng banyo eh? WIFE: punyeta ka! ikaw pala umiihi sa ref!?
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ANAK: Inay, buntis ho ata ako nahihilo ako. INAY: Hindi ka buntis anak. ANAK: Naduduwal ako Inay. INAY: Hindi ka buntis. ANAK: Buntis ho ata ako kasi gusto ko ng maasim. INAY: PUNYETA! GUSTO MONG PITPITIN KO YANG BAYAG MO?!!!
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Butas ng pag-ibig BF:-- Sweetie, pwede ko bang ipasok ang aking pag-ibig sa butas ng iyong pagmamahal ? GF:-- Sobra ka namang magsalita.nakakabuntis ka ng damdamin
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Post by jluvlenskie13 on Jan 18, 2007 22:32:04 GMT 8
sobra ngang haba!.. nakalimutan ko na ang kasunod! hihihi...
eto na lng..
txt msg galing kay master..
JUDGE: ano ba talaga ang nangyari.? ERAP: (di nagsasalita) JUDGE: sumagot ka sa tanong.. ERAP: Naman e.!! Akala ko ba hearing lang to..? Bakit may speaking?!
hehehe..
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Post by acasteld on Jan 19, 2007 0:33:41 GMT 8
BOY:hulaan ko ulam nyo kanina! GIRL:(not knowing the malunggay in her teeth) Sige nga, What? BOY:Malunggay! GIRL:Hoy! No ha! the other day pa iyon! Hula ulit!!!
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maricon
Senior Member
mabuhay tayo!
Posts: 1,204
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Post by maricon on Jan 21, 2007 15:17:15 GMT 8
PAMATAY NA BARA:
B: pwede ba umakyat ng ligaw? G:sorry wala kaming stairs
B:may i hold your hand? G: no tnx di naman siya heavy
B:sabihin mong mahal mo ko G: mahal mo ko
B:mahal, i want to dance like dis 4ever G: dont u want 2 improve?
B:i wud go 2 d end of the world 4 u G: rily? but could you stay der?
B:i luv u and i wud die for you G: how soon?
B:kaw lang ang nag_iisang babae sa buhay ko G: wala ka bang nanay?
B:do u hav a boyfrend? G: wala...ayaw ng asawa ko eh
(heheheheh wala lang)
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Post by acasteld on Jan 21, 2007 20:18:13 GMT 8
There was once a mirror that killed anyone who lied: FVR: I think I don't smoke (killed) Cory: I think I hate yellow (killed) GMA: I think I'm tall (killed) ERAP: I think (killed)
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kimi09
Full Member
idiot_named_kimi09@yahoo.com
Posts: 203
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Post by kimi09 on Jan 28, 2007 20:00:45 GMT 8
joke
dad: (may hawak na 2 toys, pinamimili ang anak na lalaki) anu gus2 mo, Barbie o Batman?
Son:Batman po!
Dad: magaling! (sabay alis)
Son: GWAPO MO TALAGA BATMAN!!!! ... muahh!!
hehehehe.. katuwa^^
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Post by len on Feb 12, 2007 1:48:04 GMT 8
di ko alam kung joke ba tong ginagawa ko.. gusto ko lang mag muni muni din kayo! bakit parang isa lang sila? c sonia ba to? magka anu-ano ba si lantis at heero? bat magka mukha sila?
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Post by kassandra on Feb 14, 2007 20:56:35 GMT 8
sa isang barong barong, may nakitarang mag ina na sina juan at aleng toyang...isa araw.....
aleng toyang: JUAN...!!!!!!!!! Juan: bakit nay...? aleng toyang: bumili ka nga ng mantika... Juan: saan ako bibili nay...? aleng Toyan: hay naku Juan...!!!ang tanda tanda mo na d mo pa rin alam kung sa an bumibili ng mantika....?ganito yun...!!!!lumabas ka di2 sa bahay tapos lumiko ka sa kaliwa tapos nun sa kanan naman at pag may nakita kang may nagsisigawan ay palengke na yun....!!! *.........after one hour..........* Juan: nay nay wala pong mantika...!!! aleng toyan: bakit san ka ba bumili...?! Juan: dun po sa may nagsisigawan na " sa pula sa puti tanggal ang mali,jack en poy, bingo...!!!! tsaka wala pong sumisigaw na mantika dun...!!!hahaha.....
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Post by len on Feb 16, 2007 1:40:07 GMT 8
sa wakas.. natapos ko na ang thread na'to!
what's the opposite of saklolo? ...lick lola! hehehe...
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Anak: Tanghali na, bakit kaya ayaw pang lumabas sa kuwarto sina mama at papa? Inday: Ewan, kagabi humingi sila ng petrolium JELLY, pero ang naibigay ko MIGHTY BOND ================= after 50 years: MARE1: How is ur Sex life? MARE2: Well, sa age ni pare mo, BALAHIBO na lang ang tumatayo, TUHOD na lang tumitigas, at MUKHA na lang ang nagagalit. ============== Pasahero: Manong me bayad ba kapag bata? Driver: Wala! Pasahero: Kapag kandong? Driver: Wala rin. Pasahero: o anak, upo ka. kakandong ako sayo!..
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Post by acasteld on Apr 22, 2007 23:27:43 GMT 8
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Post by acasteld on Apr 22, 2007 23:30:16 GMT 8
Wit and Class of a Filipino
A Filipino walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to the Philippines on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Filipino hands over the keys of a new Ferrari. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Filipino produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Pinoy for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Pinoy returns,repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The Pinoy replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" *****HAHAHA, YAN ANG PINOY!
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Post by acasteld on Apr 22, 2007 23:32:50 GMT 8
BALANCE
Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?".
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it.
I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth.
"For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant. I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a group of islands and said, "What are those?"
"Ah," said God. "That's the Philippines, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, rivers, mountains and forests. The people from the Philippines are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as carriers of peace and love."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in the government."
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